Sunday, March 29, 2009


picture the scene, i am in nuremberg's 'music von cd und lp' or whatever it's called scouring 'act one's' sleeve notes between being wowed by the truly brilliant gatefold sleeve when i decided that i had to have this record. never occurred to me to play the record on the 'ten minutes and fuck off' in store listening post. the sleeve turned me into a true cavalier, i handed the guy the cash money and thought 'it's on VERTIGO and the sleeve is absolutely incredible how can this possibly go wrong?'

well at least there is no longer a 'beggars opera' shaped gap in my musical learning. 'act one' is a truly fucking rancid album. sounds like really, really bad ELP: orchestral prog taken to the edge of music school based wankery. honest to god, you can almost hear them sucking each other off.

if you are ever in a record shop and you see this record and you think 'i know, i'll check my *INSERT INTERNET FRIENDLY MOBILE PHONE HERE* and read the reviews on' don't. those guys are fucking liars who got sucked into the same 'awesome album sleeve' trap that i did.

instead take the sleeve from the racks, ask to see the record and then rather than inspecting it for scuffs, spindle marks and scratches, place it carefully on the floor, pull down your pants, take a big fat steaming shit on it before calmly leaving safe in the knowledge that you have done god's work.

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