Sunday, March 29, 2009


i knew the 'merry, merry month of... march' was special for something. it is, give or take a few days the 33rd anniversary of caludine longet's famous ski lodge 'mishap'.

march 21st 1976, aspen colorado - following a gak fueled argument claudine shot and killed her then husband vladimir 'spider' sabich (not to be confused with the drummer of 'comedy metal band' BAD NEWS, this 'spider' was in fact an olympic skier). anyway she walked and the state pen's lesbian communities loss was our gain. having intimate relations with with robert f and andy williams obviously pays dividends as well as gas bills. sadly she never kicked out the jams again opting for a quiet life away from the limelight... and one would like to think the powder.

the above, 'colours' claudine's 4th album bombed on release peaking at 155 in the US charts and sinking shortly afterwards. perhaps opting for the true english spelling of the album title confused the american music buying public sufficiently to condemn it to a premature death in the cut-out bins.

'coloooors, what the fuck is colooooors? i used to dig that claudine chick but colooooors. fuck that shit i'm buying me some sergio mendes, at least motherfucker knows how to spell.'

anyway. i like 'colours' and amongst the many softly spoken and aft whispered gems on here is what is for my money the best ever version of 'scarborough fair' (scarborouge fair, what the fuck is scarborouge fair?) and if that's not enough the record has one of those inter-active sleeves like phil collins' seminal 'no jacket required' that you can hold up to your face in front of the mirror and pretend to be said artist.

i pretended to be claudine for the first few tracks of 'colours' and can honestly say it was the kind of fun that really isn't so easy to come by in this the year of our lord 2009. it was a truly magical experience and almost like being there.

anyway, the rest of the album is just as good as 'scarborough fair' and ms. longet has to be commended for the kind of 'hauntingly sexual' delivery that you can only otherwise get if you order pizza from a dead hooker.

if i had anything else by said fair french maiden this would surely be the start of 'claudine week' but i don't so i cant. i might post her doing 'nothing to loose' from that racist peter sellers movie 'the party' though... if only for her utterly perfect hair and billion dollar legs...

you can still get this pretty cheap on ebay and there are re-issues out there, though if you get a re-issue there is every chance that you will spend eternity roasting in the black pits of hell, so don't say i didn't warn you.

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