JOHN AND YOKO'S EXCELLENT 'BED'VENTURE

turns out it is 40 years to the day that john lennon and more importantly yoko ono staged their 'bed in'. plan was to stop the war in vietnam by staying in bed and doing precisely 'shit all'. sadly and with great surprise to all involved it didn't quite work... but the BEATLES did break up less than a year later so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

i used to live just around the corner from the hotel in amsterdam where they did the whole bed in thing and people used to say to me 'hey is that the place where john and yoko did that whole 'bed in' thing?' and i'd say 'yes, yes it is.'

five days of sitting in bed can get messy in all sorts of ways. i have often wondered but do not know what the toilet arrangements were, did going to the bathroom constitute a violation of the 'bed in' manifesto, was john forced to shit where he sat? (for those of you interested in hearing what that might sound like listen to the 1973 album 'rock n' roll', partially produced by wall of soundster and ladykiller phil spector)

what you also have to remember is that they were, at this point newly weds and that yoko ono, despite having the biggest bush in music (see 'two virgins' lp sleeve) was pretty hot. this would lead me to conclude that there was some kind of sex, potentially in front of the ever present media. this brings me neatly onto the above picture. now whilst they are obviously not having full intercourse something else may well be going on. if you look closely you will see three, not four hands, yoko's right hand is missing, under the sheets. add to that the vacant smirk on lennon's face and i know what you're thinking:

'OMFG! all round important artist, member of the fluxus movement, author and sometimes musician YOKO ONO is pulling off that guy out of the beatles in front of the world's media!'

and you are probably right...what we have is an honest to god hand-job and that hand job was 40 years to this very day.